My Enigmatic Existance

New Home!!

2008-07-12T19:16:00.001-04:00

In case some of you may not know, i have a new home!
to follow up on my rants and opinion-filled postings, go to:

leighfellows.wordpress.com

Comon now people!

2008-05-18T15:19:00.003-04:00

Time for a good lil rant.
First off, I'm going to appologize for not writing for days! I tried creating a new blog (on wordpress.com), but after much frustration, I've decided to can it. I love the option of customizing my header, but that's about the only thing i CAN customize without having to pay! If I wasn't a starving student, I'd probably do it; however, I'm sure the Nova Scotia government would rather I give them the money instead of wordpress. Oh well!
Now onto my true reason for bloggin'. I'm pretty peeved that people think I'm dumb. Honestly, if I could get through life being 'pretty' or 'cutesy', I would, but unfortunatly I'm a bit too opinionated and assertive at times, and that just takes away from my booming looks (lol). Anyways, I've got brains. A lot of brains... Brain cells (neurons) that I've been using lately to study how the heart works, and a pile of cardiac procedures so I can kick some ass and become a cardiology technologist. So when someone judges my knowledge of things health related, I get a bit defensive.
Not only do I study cardiology, but I have Crohn's Disease. I've been inside a hospital more in 6 years than most people spend in their lifetime. I've done endless research, changed my lifestyle, and really stepped back and took a good hard look at my life. At the age of 17yrs old, I had to REALLY grow up and take on adult responsibilities. Now at the age of 23, I'd like to think I've accomplished a lot, and pride myself at knowing more than the average joe about health (mostly due to the fact that i HAVE to).
Note: i don't know everything, i never will. I'll ALWAYS be learning new things, and constantly getting better and better. But some people just have to give me a little bit of credit. I'm not your atypical 20-something yr old 'chick'.

On that note, I've spent a moderate amount of time studying thus far. And I'm extremely happy to have gotten phone calls from my closest friends back home ( my bff of 15+ yrs, a wonderful woman I work with, and another homme who I adore!).
All in all, a productive Saturday... now if only I can make today productive (i DID watch Coronation St... does that count?!)

no more ranting!!! fun blogging to come!
xoxo

Don't trust me with your children

2008-05-09T19:28:00.004-04:00

Ok, so my title is quite the exaggeration; however, you shouldn't trust me when making tea, 'cause I definitely can mess that one up.

It all started this afternoon when the 'tickle' in my throat became a raw fire ball, and I decided to take a lemon and make some lemon ginger tea. So, like quite the domesticated woman, I juiced some lemons (and of course quartered the skins and threw them in as well), added ginger, and a bit of water, and left my concoction to simmer.

well, this was at 3:30pm

Its now 7:00pm, and I noticed (while talking to my Mum on the phone) an interesting scent. It smelt fondly like burnt lemon meringue pie. Then a little bell went off in my head, "oh god, my tea".

well people, I'm sure I could burn water.
Here's a picture for all to see. :P

Side note: Gordon Ramsey would probably be throwing the F word at me right now, but then we'd cuddle and make up. ;) hahaha

HELLO Mr Ramsay!!

2008-05-09T09:18:00.003-04:00

I have to divulge a secret...

I have an adult crush on Gordon Ramsey (well known from his TV show, Hell's Kitchen)

I just don't get it. Generally I lean towards the passive-agressive type, but Mr Ramsey is far from that... which probably explains my new found fetish.
When he starts yelling at the incompetent cooks that are competing on his show, I honestly tingle inside. I just want to crash through the tv screen, hop into his arms, and be carried off into the horzion (or the nearest seedy motel :)

Am I the only one who feels that way? Is this abnormal?? < I know the answer to this question, it's not. People are attracted to 'rebels of society' all the time.

what would make this the perfect fantasy is if he had a secret tattoo.... that only I could find ;)

"Quotations"

2008-05-08T22:52:00.002-04:00

Well, this week has been FULL of good 'one-liners'.
but since it's 11pm, and i have to be up at 5:30am, this one is going to be short (i promise a long blog later!)

Grey's Anatomy
"I am the man, at the right hand... of the man"
> George O'Malley explaining how he's the Chief's Intern

CSI
"Diein' is easy, comedy is hard"
- Grissom, as he pulls a rubber chicken out of the mouth of a deceased comedy actress

and by far my favourite quote of the week...

Dr Phil
"she has your balls in a dixie cup!!!" (note, they bleeped out 'balls', but we all know he said it!!!) - Dr Phil, while he was harping on a 39yr old man on being a momma's boy! :0

Love it!

2008-05-08T17:01:00.002-04:00

Ok, so when I'm having a bit of a down day in good ole Ottawa, all I have to do is watch this video...and I'm instantly smiling again.
Proud to be a Nova Scotian!!!
Enjoy!

xo

another day in the life

2008-05-07T19:13:00.003-04:00

well, my Mum informed me that Dr Marla Shapiro did a blurb on Canada AM this morning about heart health, where she actually had a stress test (aka exercise tolerance test) done!
anyways, go to this link and check out what I'll be doing (as a cardiology tech!)

-what i'll be doing is : hooking up the electrodes while asking the patient questions about their family history, meds, heart health, etc... then i'd be doing what the doctor in the clip is doing (well...sort of doing. he's supposed to be watching that monitor AND keeping an eye on her, while doing her blood pressure every 2 minutes)

-things that were done wrong, which creates a misconception.
-->during the test, the patient wouldn't be wearing a tank top, but just a hospital gown.
-->also, Marla was holding onto the treadmill rails throughout the test... that's a no-no since it can affect the recordings and the test outcome (it's easier when you hold onto the rail...the point is to TEST your heart...so holding onto the rail is cheating!)
-->As previously mentioned, the doctor was leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest! he's supposed to be watching that monitor AND watching the patient!
-->and, i'm not sure if he did the blood pressure every 2 minutes. he may have, and they just didn't show it on tv. anyways, Marla at the end of the clip was on level 4 of the bruce protocol, that means she would have had her blood pressure taken (while on the treadmill) at minimum 3 times by this point! interesting that they don't mention such an important part of the testing!

so yeah, here's a look into a SMALL part of my new job description!! so exciting!
:>

We Don't Always Talk About Heart Rhythms!

2008-05-06T06:19:00.003-04:00

... what happens when cardiology tech students get together ...

Last night Myself and 4 other of my amazing friends - from school - went out to a place called Camilio's, a nice little bar and grill in beautiful Ottablah (<>Ben).

Two of our extremely talented friends were actually playing (Nikki and Brittani)! So, in good maritimer-charm, I hooted and hollared all night (and recorded a handful of videos to be placed on facebook). It was a great time, good eats, beautiful music, and most importantly -amazing company!

So enjoy some of the photos of the night!

Blissful Dreams

2008-05-05T15:08:00.002-04:00

As mentioned in my best bud's (of over a decade) blog, him and I discussed many moons ago - over pizza - about our dreams for the future. We both splurged about wanting the classic 'bf, dog, house, white picket fence around cet house'. Well, I'm proud to say that it is all coming true for him. He has the awesome bf (newf!! :)), the amazing puppy dawg (Calvin), and now the perfect house!! yay!! oh, and throw in the fact that he has a shining future in front of him in the PR world (that boy can write like no body's business!!!) So today's post is about beautiful futures, stemming from those blissful dreams we had as children.

Some of us are just figuring those dreams out now.

I've always dreamed of getting a great job, and being internally happy.

I'm on that path (by being INCREDIBLY noisey into other people's lives... through recording they're heart rhythms lol), and couldn't be happier!

anyways, this one is to Ben. I'm so excited for you and your Newf (and Calvin of course!)

"French Kiss, cheese pizzas, deadly martinis, and dressing in black & white... my favourite moments in my life"

~XO~

Peanut Stir Fry

2008-05-04T17:24:00.002-04:00

Well, since being quite independent in our nation's capital, I've branched out from Kraft Dinner, and tried something new.

I LOVE peanut chicken stir fry (that i keep getting from a thai place in the food court), but since money is tight, i decided to wing it on my own!

and... it was delicious!!!!!! yipee!!!

so here`s the recipe!! i`ll add notes on the bottom!

Peanut Beef Stir-Fry

INGREDIENTS
5 teaspoons cornstarch
1 (14.5 ounce) can beef broth
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons creamy peanut butter
1/2 teaspoon sugar
Dash pepper
1 pound boneless beef sirloin steak, thinly sliced
1 cup sliced onion
1 cup sliced celery
1 teaspoon minced garlic
2 tablespoons vegetable oil

DIRECTIONS
In a bowl, combine the cornstarch, broth, soy sauce, peanut butter, sugar and pepper until smooth; set aside. In a large skillet or wok, stir-fry the beef, onion, celery and garlic in oil for 5-8 minutes or until meat is no longer pink.
Stir the broth mixture and add to the pan. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 1-2 minutes or until thickened.

Leigh`s notes:

Since I don`t eat beef very often, i substituted beef & beef broth for chicken & - you guessed it - chicken broth. (if you`re a vegetarian, you could add some TVP or tofu instead of chicken, and use `chicken seasoning` with the appropriate amount of water -if you don`t want to use broth)

also, i added a wee bit more peanut butter, and i suggest adding a pinch more sugar to balance it all out. and since i`m not a huge fan of celery, i added carrotts instead, and added green peppers last minute!

yum yum! enjoy!!!

"we will do what is hard, we will do what is great."

2008-05-03T22:35:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine sent me this clip from West Wing (20 Hours in America)... Though not a fan of the West Wing, I sat and watched regardless. The President was making a speech after the tragic death at an american university. I sat, intranced by the words being spoken. Note that I am 100% Canadian, and damn proud at that... but this speech just rang strong with me.
Read on below.

"...restoring abundance amid an economic shortfall, securing peace in a time of global conflict, sustaining hope in this winter of anxiety and fear.
More than any time in recent history, America's destiny is not of our own choosing.
We did not seek nor did we provoke an assault on our freedom and our way of life.
We did not expect nor did we invite a confrontation with evil.
Yet the true measure of a people's strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arive.
44 people were killed a couple of hours ago at Kennison State University. Three swimmers from the men's team were killed and two others are in critical condition.
When, after having heard the explosion from their practice facility, they ran into the fire to help get people out.
Ran into the fire.
The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight.
They're our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends.
The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels, but every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless.
This is a time for American heroes.
We will do what is hard
We will achieve what is great.
This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars.
God bless their memory, God bless you and God bless the United State of America.
Thank you."

...I'm Barely Breathing...

2008-05-01T16:39:00.004-04:00

I'm sitting here, [hospital] scrubs on the floor, in my fluffy housecoat, watching Oprah...

ohhhh yeah, Oprah. The cast of Sex and the City is on, and I'm just lovin' life at this moment.

In 29 days, Sex and the City: The Movie is coming out! and in 29 days, I'll be on the road, leaving Ottawa, and that chapter, behind me.

I'm BEYOND EXCITED *for the movie & coming home*, but I'm also anxious. . .

so much as happened up here....

- I moved away from the place I lived in for 23 years of my life.

- I fell into my new life... the beautiful single life!

- I started school again, but no more psychology... cardiology technology instead!

- I learnt SOME of the mysteries of the heart (seriously, wow....), and I'm going to CONTINUE learning!

- I meant some AMAZING people up here!!! People I'm never going to forget about. ever.

- I also realized what friends I truely have back home. and what great friends they are! I couldn't have done it without their support and love. and i'm eternally grateful.

- I learnt that I can be extremely independent, that i CAN cook, and that walking around your apartment - naked - and dancing to music on itunes...well that's just amazing right there (I'm going to miss that haha)

- I realized that eating croissants everyday makes your ass very fat.... and I also realized that going to the gym everyday will make you lose weight, but it takes alot of willpower!

- I learnt that I actually AM smart!

- I realized how much I miss NS, and maritimers in general. Though Ottawa is nice, there's no comparision between it and the east coast. Us maritimers are a rare breed!!!

- I learnt that the love of your family can really hold you up in hard times. If it wasn't for my dad's msn msgs, or the phone calls from mom, or the endless text msgs from my wombie, my time in Ottawa wouldn't have lasted long!. Thank you.

- and lastly, I learnt how to be happy by being ME. By not following a bf or dreams that others had FOR me, i figured out who i was. I moved up here, took a leap of faith, and i survived! and i'm better in doing so!

So that's it from this city!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to get back!

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!

"I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmTRsL6rJcM

Saddened on a Tuesday Nite

2008-04-29T22:07:00.002-04:00

Well....

I'm sad to announce that Derek Hough and Shannon Elizabeth have been kicked off Dancing with the Stars tonight.

Heart = broken.

Though I really don't like Shannon Elizabeth much (I think she's TOO emotional, and her acting is a wee bit iffy to say the least), her partner Derek is quite the piece of man-meat. Just watching him (and his ass of steal....and washboard abs....:) make me melt.

Now who am I going to objectify???

OH, I know!!! There's this guy who dances in the new ads for Songo (Empire Theatres)... damn....

think he'd go on a date with me?? ;)

"Sweet Niblets", Montana's Misery!

2008-04-28T19:04:00.003-04:00

Well, poor Miley Cyrus is the next celeb to get publicly slammed.

After posing for Vanity Fair, Cyrus is getting a lot of bad press for that photoshoot, where a photo was taken of her holding only a silk sheet.

Since she's a 'Disney Channel' actor, and a role model for millions of tweens, the photos were seen as distasteful and inappropriate for a 15 yr old girl.

Honestly, I personally think this is a pile of rubbish. Yes, I said it, RUBBISH.

Though her skin may be paler than mine (seriously, I thought I was pasty white... Miley Cyrus hands down kicks my ass in that way!), the photos were far from inappropriate.

The only part showing is her bare back!! if she was wearing a halter top, or a low cut dress, you'd see the same thing! Frig, parents are putting their toddlers in bikinis, or putting eyeshadow on them, I doubt fully these photos of Miley are going to spin a negative shit storm on younger viewers. (I mean , how many children read Vanity Fair? or will consciously think "wow, I can see her 'casper' white back... skaaaanky!!")

All-in-all, I'm just one opinionated girl.... what do all of YOU think??

how to save a life...

2006-08-27T21:24:00.000-04:00

- The Fray -how to save a life. an awesome song, an awesome group. if you have the chance to listen to more of their music, i totally recommend it!

Step one you say we need to talk

He walks you say sit down it's just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong,

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best

Cause after all you do know best

Try to slip past his defense

Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong

The things you've told him all along

And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong,

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice

You lower yours and grant him one last choice

Drive until you lose the road

Or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things

He will admit to everything

Or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong,

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong,

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

Where did I go wrong,

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong,

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life...

Kiss You 'Til You Weep

2006-06-29T11:56:00.000-04:00

Paul Gross - Kiss You 'Till You Weep
Up against this wall

Or right here in this car

Or anywhere at all

Or anywhere we are.

Lay your body down, Down upon these stones.

This beach has grown cold, My Love.

I'm right here in your eyes.

You're right here in mine, And the Dodge is on the wall, I swear.

If you ask me, I will tumble.

I'll fall down on my knees,

But I will meet you at the altar,

Baby,

And kiss you...Kiss you 'til you weep.

I'm so sick of crying.

This wound that never heals.

Tell me 'bout this lightening,My Love.

Tell me you don't love me.

Tell me I don't feel.

We know it can't strike twice.

If you ask me, I will tumble.

I'll fall down on my knees.

I will meet you at the altar,

Baby,

And kiss you...Kiss you 'til you weep.

If you ask me, I will tumble

I'll fall down on my knees.

I will meet you at the altar, Baby,

And kiss you...

If you ask me,

I will tumble,

Fall down on my knees,

And I will meet you at the altar, Baby,

And kiss you...Kiss you 'til you weep

And kiss you 'til you weep.

And kiss you 'til you weep......

Ever the same

2006-01-27T09:49:00.000-05:00

"Fall on me

Tell me everything you want me to be

Forever with you forever in me

Ever the same"

how do u measure 'love'?

is it something that happens....

...or could it be learned?

can people really 'fall in love'?

or 'fall in love at first sight'?

maybe anything is possible.

but what is your idea of Love?

hellllo christmas eve!

2005-12-24T07:45:00.000-05:00

well... its 8:45am and i should be at work right now, however... due to sketchy scheduling, someone else was also scheduled from 8:30am-1:30pm... so i let him have the shift and im still working tomorrow from 11am-6pm. wikid :P oh well. at least i didn't waste 15minutes cleaning off my car this morning, oh wait. i did. hahaha
well im not going to let that ruin my christmas spirit. so in five minutes im going to go into the kitchen in my pjs and im going to make hot chocolate and sit in front of the tv and watch cartoons and christmas shows :) how great is that. then i'll drop brett off at his moms around 1pm, then head over to fall river so the festivities will begin (aka getting shitfaced :P)
well i should go and begin such fun times
merry christmas everyone!! miss you all!

Christmas time, Kinda...

2005-12-13T17:38:00.000-05:00

well in less than two weeks its christmas eve/day. my goodness it's coming at an alarming pace and im completely not prepared for it. i have MAYBE half my shopping done, and as each day passes the stores become more and more packed & chaotic. the worse part is that with the christmas season comes christmas drivers... the worst drivers IN THE WORLD! i don't think i've ever in my life seen such bad driving as i had this weekend.
aside from that, im doing 'okay'. i still have one more exam on thursday night, then everything will begin to look brighter... however still busy
tonight, study
tomorrow, study
thursday, exam then STRAIGHT to reserves if i have time
friday, something.... can't remember what. but something
saturday, staff party and beth comes home (one week til xmas!)
sunday, the joy of being hungover and going to fall river to see the wombmate and family
monday, working from 8:30am-4:30pm.
tuesday, working reserves in am, A. Stobo's at night
wednesday...finally it's time to relax and enjoy christmas.
thursday, ditto
friday, ditto
saturday (xmas eve), workig 8:30am-1pm
Sunday CHRISTMAS DAY- working 11-6pm. joy.
then fast forward to the 29th of December - YELLOWKNIFE
yes, yellowknife. bretts dad is flying brett and myself up to Yellowknife, NWT, until jan.3rd! how frickin amazing is that?! brett and i are beyond excited.
then i come home and spend time with beth until she leaves on the 8th

best christmas season EVER.

hurry up beth and come home already wombie
i miss ya!

how to say i love you in 100 languages

2005-11-25T23:53:00.000-05:00

English - I love you

Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief

Albanian - Te dua

Arabic - Ana behibak (to male) Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)

Armenian - Yes kez sirumen

Bambara - M'bi fe

Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee) (THX GVamp!)

Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu

Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo

Bulgarian - Obicham teCambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah

Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a

Catalan - T'estimo

Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i (Thanks Nancy!)

Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse

Chichewa - Ndimakukonda

Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)

Creol - Mi aime jou

Croatian - Volim te

Czech - Miluji te

Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig

Dutch - Ik hou van jou

Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)

Esperanto - Mi amas vin

Estonian - Ma armastan sind

Ethiopian - Afgreki'

Faroese - Eg elski teg

Farsi - Doset daram

Filipino - Mahal kita

Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua

French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore

Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy

Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort

Georgian - Mikvarhar

German - Ich liebe dich

Greek - S'agapo

Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo

Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw

Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe

Hebrew - Ani ohevet otekh (to female) (Thanks Morris) Hebrew - Ani ohev otkha (to male) (Thanks again)

Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw

Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae

Hmong - Kuv hlub koj

Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta

Hungarian - Szeretlek

Icelandic - Eg elska tig

Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw

Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu

Inuit - Negligevapse

Irish - Taim i' ngra leat

Italian - Ti amo

Japanese - Aishiteru

Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene

Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka

Kiswahili - Nakupenda

Konkani - Tu magel moga cho

Korean - Sarang Heyo

Latin - Te amo

Latvian - Es tevi miilu

Lebanese - Bahibak

Lithuanian - Tave myliu

Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gäer

Macedonian - Te Sakam (Thanks Eden!)

Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu

Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu

Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni

Marathi - Me tula prem karto

Mohawk - Kanbhik

Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik

Nahuatl - Ni mits neki

Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni

Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg

Pandacan - Syota na kita!!

Pangasinan - Inaru Taka

Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo

Persian - Doo-set daaram

Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay

Polish - Kocham Ciebie

Portuguese - Eu te amo

Romanian - Te iubesc

Russian - Ya tebya liubliu

Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort

Serbian - Volim teSetswana - Ke a go rata

Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')

Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan

Sioux - Techihhila

Slovak - Lu`bim ta

Slovenian - Ljubim te

Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo

Swahili - Ninapenda wewe

Swedish - Jag alskar dig

Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di

Surinam - Mi lobi joe

Tagalog - Mahal kita

Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li

Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe

Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen

Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu

Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)

Turkish - Seni Seviyorum

Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu

Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo

Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female) Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)

Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di

Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh

Yoruba - Mo ni fe

You're Beautiful, it's True

2005-11-23T09:08:00.000-05:00

So the other day in math class i was sitting there, doodling on my blank sheet of paper, when i asked brett "what day is it today?"
he replied, "uhhh its the 21st i think"
i said thanks and i sat there.... hmmmm 21st.... why should i remember something...?
then it hit me. the day before (november 20th), brett and i were officially together for 8 whole months.
and that kinda scared me. 8mths.... i haven't been with someone for this long since barry.
*chokes* we all know how that worked out :P
anyways, fastforward to last night. i was home alone and the wind/rain was INCREDIABLE! it was litterally shaking my windows! *reminder to everyone, this is the first time i really experienced this at my new place, and i had to be home alone*. so, the lights flickered a couple times... which i didn't like... and i thought "my god when is brett going to be home?" < something else i NEVER think to myself on a tuesday night, i <3 my two hours i get alone. but not this time.
anyways he finally came home, and we crawled into bed where he held me all night... his way of saying "everything is okay..."
thats something i appreciate more then he knows.

8 months, and couldn't be happier

-now i have to kick his lazy ass out of bed and go to class-
love you all!

Post Halloween

2005-11-01T18:38:00.000-05:00

well... all i gotta say is that im surprized i haven't caused a 'self-induced coma' due to all the friggin sugar i've cosumed. not good.
oh well. halloween wasn't bad. quiet due to the fact we were studying for midterms until yesterday morning so we couldn't party. but brett bought a costume so it was amusing at some point. (btw, it was a Lil boys batman costume...let your imagination run wild ppl)
so it was great, and now i sit her procrastinating as usual. i have a group project in the morning, a math take home quiz is due, and a paper on thursday. things are just going peachy. and i was supposed to be going out with kat tonight but that's not going to happen because of the piles of work that continues to be loaded on me.
this sucks
no social life, all work
totally dull leigh.
anyways. i've already wasted five more minutes on this where i could be getting work done.
ttyl... if i ever get out of this rut

sleep deprivation, underwear, and weddings :)

2005-10-21T06:49:00.000-04:00

i'm sitting here, trying to figure out what to write....and my mind is pretty blank.
i'm wide awake ever since brett JUMPED out of bed and got ready for reserves in this blur because it was 7:12am and his boss was picking him up at 7:15 (yikes). ever see a man shave his face in tops, 20 seconds? god, it looks pretty painful i'll tell you that much. and THEN his boss came to the door and brett opens it, not thinking "hey my GF is sitting in the living room in only her lil calvin klein undies and a tank top, oooooh no! so i ran to the bathroom quickly without him seeing a thing, but honestly, im awake now because of that. im pissed.
and as u can tell, im f-ing rambling too.
anyways, onto more interesting things.
this weekend is Ryan and Margarets wedding (finally!) and even tho i was sliced off the guest list, kyle tells me last minute he could probably squeeze me in the dance. as much as i would KILL to see muggins all dressed up *cries*... i already told my aunt and mum that i would play poker with them this saturday... *damnit!*. so ky and carolyne are going to have to take a shitload of pictures (which im sure they will)
weddings make me soooooo sentimental (as im sure most ppl would say LOL). see, since this year, i have NEVER been to a wedding (minus about 3 of them when i was a kid and everyone wanted twins as their flower girls, but do u think i remember or gave a shit back then?! nope? i was thinking "wow.... purdy flowers...." hahaha
so brett invited me to his cousins wedding and reception this summer past (btw: the bride and groom was 21/23 years old!). anyways, it was gorgeous. the fact that people were pledging themselves to eachother for eternity is [to me] the most beautiful thing in the world.
maybe someday it might actually happen to me [god forbid :)]
anyways, congrats ryan and margaret Ferguson.
you guys are amazing :)
-Leigh

let the midterms begin

2005-10-13T09:30:00.000-04:00

- so i should be studying...
but i decided a lil break wouldn't hurt.
its been sooo hectic for the past lil while. school/birthday&thanksgiving/school/work/school/midterms/etc...
you guys get the drill... i can't wait for tonight to be over. i have two midterms, a stats lab, then reserves until 10 or so at night. *whew*
i work friday and saturday night but whatever... i won't be studying, and that's all i can think about right now.
-gah, im sorry this blog sucks, but the next one will be better i promise.
i have alot on my mind right now and no time to type it ALL out. but soon
well... im off to study more abnormal psychology.
-bye for now

turkey weekend!

2005-10-08T07:26:00.000-04:00

well its early saturday morning *where most ppl would probably be in bed...and im up on this bad boy*
annnnyways tomorrow i turn the big 2-1...and im a bit scared.... i'm ... (whispers) old....
oh well, so far im being eased into this....
kyle gave me a wikid poster and gift certificate *that will be coming in good use i tell ya!*
and beth is home which is a gift all in itself!!
i cannot wait to see her this morning! we're going shopping with mum to get an outfit for our family casino night tonight! lol....should be interesting!!!
oh, i almost forgot to mention bretts gift *smiles like a school girl*
-see, i thought he hadn't got me anything because i really don't know when he would've went out.... but was i wrong!
so anyways, out comes this little box....
he didn't get down on one knee ppl so don't get all scary on me here...
anyways i opened it, and its the most gorgeous ring i ever saw...
when me and brett starting going out, i saw this 'mystic fire' topaz ring that i loved but i couldn't afford at the time so i just went on my way
anyways six months later brett still remembers and gets it for me!
i'll post a pic asap if i can get my camera to work. but its hot, let me tell ya.
i heart that boy...
so yeah, i should probably go.... i'm aching for a glass of water...and why stop there with the waterworks, maybe i'll have a shower too!
xo everyone, happy turkey weekend! see u when im 21!!

2005-10-02T21:54:00.000-04:00

(last picture i'll post for now i swear) -the happy couple-

2005-10-02T21:53:00.000-04:00

im the secret (photo) shooter

2005-10-02T21:51:00.000-04:00

daisy

2005-10-02T21:49:00.000-04:00

AWWW!... sorry, got a lil sentimental there :P

2005-10-02T21:48:00.000-04:00

brett in his purdy DEUs... he didn't like the fact i was taking his picture

2005-10-02T21:44:00.000-04:00

the picture brett made of us with the flowers i had a picture of (adobe photoshop)

"hi..long time no see"

2005-10-01T07:45:00.000-04:00

" it may seem like a stretch, but its thoughts like this that catch my troubled head when you're away (when I am missing you to death) when you are out there on the road for several weeks of shows and when you scan the radio, I hope this song will guide you home
--they will see us waving from such great heights, "come down now," they'll say but everything looks perfect from far away,"come down now," but we'll stay...--"

this week has been a complete whirlwind... i keep telling ppl that not once did i have a moment to myself, but that is a lie... this week i had one moment...one beautiful moment. it was last sunday, and i was at my mums having lunch *since i couldn't go over for my weekly sunday supper* and then after lunch i hopped into the car to go grab Brett from Willow park so we could go and have supper at him moms place.
well on the way i noticed that i was a bit eariler then i thought....that i would have some spare time... and then i saw it approaching...
i saw fairview cemetaries...the one with the titanic graves in it...and my poppys/andys...
and suddenly i swallowed that lump in my throat that i always had when i drove by it...i pulled in, parked, and walked...
it took me a little while, but then i found it... there they are... Fellows and Fellows. the last blood line of my family... my best friend for years when i was alone in jr high and my brother who fought the hardest battle of his life at 2 years old.
i sat there in the grass, touching the single bouquet of fake flowers that my poppy had...
and i took a flower, and gave it to andy
and i don't think i ever cried so much in my life at the one moment. but it felt good. i felt safe...
that day i needed my two men...and they were there. waiting for me to come.
i know they're not physically there, they're constantly watching me. but it felt good to sit there...to touch their names. to cry.
then today i read kathleens blog... and i heard the pain she's going through, and i thought about mine years ago when my poppy was in the hospital
and now im crying again.... because my best friend (and her family) is going through so much pain and ive been invisible to the world..and im sorry for that.
i give my condolences, my shoulder to cry on, my ear to listen if she wants it
i love you kat. and im sorry i had to find out through a blog.... but i hope u read this. (its 7:45am...my only time i have today to sit...and calling u was out of the picture)
-take care.

NOTE

2005-09-16T07:13:00.000-04:00

*******NOTE*******

IF YOU ARE SOME PERSON WHO ENJOYS ADDING YOUR TOUCH TO MY BLOG BY POSTING AN ADVERTISMENT COMMENT, SCREW OFF... ALL YOU ARE IS BLOGGING SPAM AND I HATE IT AND WILL MAKE IT MY LIFE MISSION TO HUNT YOU ALL DOWN. I ONLY WANT MY FRIENDS TO COMMENT, NOT YOU. SO GO AND HIDE UNDER A ROCK IN THE DESERT IF U DARE LEAVE MORE JUNK ON MY SITE.

hmmm?

2005-09-14T19:04:00.000-04:00

the homework load is crazy
i never see my friends
i work too much
1/2 of my teachers annoy me
and im pretty sure my cat just had a wet dream

seriously ppl.... any one of u wish to be me?

...maybe kat, but only because i've had braces already....twice...

RANT ALERT

2005-09-13T07:35:00.000-04:00

ok, there are soooo many things that have been bothering me, im pretty sure i could go on for HOURS... but i'll just narrow it down to my worst three
1) holy fuck this cat has to be neutered... when it's not licking it's balls and staring at me, its attempting to shred some part of my body with it's crazy claws or its jaws. there has been a couple times now that i'd be relaxing on the couch and the thing would make a mad dash and come pretty f-ing close to scratching my face off... not impressed....

2) ok, whomever has been in my apartment would know that the walls are very thin and i hear just about anything, which is fine... some noises can't be helped (like the woman above me getting up at 5:30 every morning and putting on high heels as slippers?!!?! ok that im sure could be helped but IM not going to go and say anything to her...) but this isn't my rant part, the worst part is this: the main front door (which is right beside us since we're in the basement.... but that's a blog all on its own [my mom thinks im getting sick with lack of vitamin D... she could be right]) anyways, the door, it slams REALLY loudly if u just let it go... but from the moment i moved into the place i realized it did this, and to be polite i would catch the door with my foot so it would slam... well... there's these new lil first years that moved into our place and at 11:30 at night they were coming in and out and in and out and in and out ...etc... and i swear to god i was SOOOO close to losing my mind it was scary.
...if i continue talking about it i might cry... next rant

3) my last rant is this.... if u can't f-ing drive... get off my road...
im SICK of ppl cutting me off or not driving up to par. you're dangerous to yourself and dangerous to me. get off the road.

-ok im done... im going to go read about abnormal psych... maybe i can diagnose myself.

2005-08-30T22:37:00.000-04:00

seriously, this kid keeps me sane at times... ~*Xo*~

My MSN Blog

2005-08-30T21:06:00.000-04:00

--> for those of you whom don't read my MSN blog, i copied and pasted it for your reading pleasure, and for those of you who DO read my msn blog, sorry for the repeat <--

*You gotta be out there

You gotta be somewhere

Wherever you are

I’m waiting…

Cause there are these nights when

I sing myself to sleep

And I’m hoping my dreams bring

You close to me

Are you listening?

Hear me I’m crying out

I’m ready now

Turn my world upside down

Find me

I’m lost inside this crowd

It’s getting loud

I need you to see

I’m screaming for you to please

Hear me

Can you hear me?

I used to be scared of

Letting someone in

But it gets so lonely

Being on my own

With no one to talk to and

No one to hold me

I’m not always strong

Oh I need you here

Are you listening?

I’m restless and wild

I fall but I try

I need someone to understand(Can you hear me?)

I’m lost in my thoughts

And baby I’ve fought

For all that I’ve got

Can you hear me?

-Hear Me Kelly Clarkson*

------>
well, beth/mum/daddyo left today towards good ole Toronto (and into the storm). the house was so empty today, and even though i don't even live there anymore i felt so sad... so alone... i sat on beths empty bed, in her empty room, just staring at the bare walls. i don't know how this time is any different from the last times... maybe it was because before beth was only an hour and a half away, this time she's 19 hours away or an expensive flight. she's nervous because she is going to a whole new world to her, im nervous because for once i feel like the girl i have shared 20 years of my life could quite possibly be gone forever... swept up in the fast pace city life.she feels more farther away than ever, and i seriously feel like im missing my other half.
....i should suck it up....
but i just spent an amazing summer with amazing people (big booty) and beth was one of them... when i was feeling stressed or overwhelmed or just felt defeated, she was there telling me im great (and at times i actually believed her!)...

so excuse me as i sob inside for my twin who has finally flew from the home nest and is doing what many cannot. miss you and love you beth.

2005-08-19T09:56:00.000-04:00

its been a day since my last confession....

im a brunette, wannabe black, wannabe blonde...
how sad is that?
im old but im still young
i have high hopes, and yes...sometimes i actually have high expectations
and someday i wish to travel the world.
-care to join me?

*leigh

2005-08-18T07:36:00.000-04:00

this is what happens when someone is bored when the bf is out with the boys... lol :)

randomness!

2005-08-18T07:18:00.000-04:00

it's not 8:19am and i really wish i was still in bed, but nope! things gotta get done today, so as i wait for my straightner to heat up i might as well write a bit in my neglected blog.
hmmm.... lets see.... whats new with me....
well im home now for the rest of the summer. takin' it easy, no work until september (well minus military because that never ends i guess) but no more aldershot for a whole year! how exciting is that! and brett is trying to get out of going to Arcon so he can have a whole 10 days off to spend with me before school! i hope that happens since we've had NO time together which really really sucks. if i don't get some quality time with that boy, i swear we're becoming more and more like roomates that share a bed since we never see eachother. *sigh*
oh, for those of u who don't know, my appearance my have changed a bit...
blonde hair... another ear piercing (since yesterday! owwww!)... i lost about 15 lbs but that's not really noticable i don't think... and next week the completion of my biggest tattoo! hahaha.. oh my, im so drastic sometimes. meh!
so is it weird that i want to go back to school? i see my friends more in school then anything, and since this summer has ruined me because of summer band, i just need to see my babies again! and kat, we have to go out together, im sooo envious of the mcdonalds pics hahaha.
anyways i better jet, kristina will be here soon before her exam and i should try and find clean clothes somewhere (it's hard right now.... i have like 4 loads of laundry to do tonight!)
ttyl and i miss alllll of you!
-Leigh xo
ps. sorry ky that i missed once again ANOTHER fergapoloza (< i know i spelt that wrong)
work always gets in my way but u guys don't need me to have fun u crazy buggers!!
happy 20th... you're getting old now! :) where's your motorcycle PRIVATE?! :)

2005-08-13T15:06:00.000-04:00

The 2005 Land Forces Atlantic Area Band!!

2005-08-13T15:04:00.000-04:00

SUPER bad picture of jason and myself, but we were dancing up a storm in new brunswick

2005-08-13T15:03:00.000-04:00

night down at paddys.... im quite enjoying my vodka and cranberry at this point...

2005-08-13T14:56:00.001-04:00

and finally the blonde hair arrived...

2005-08-13T14:56:00.000-04:00

Poker Night (in Dalhousie, New Brunswick!) i didn't loose too much money here thank god!! :)

2005-08-13T14:54:00.000-04:00

i have no sweet clue what im talking about here to Pat... probably me trying to make up for calling him a 'fifty year old' (when he's only 34...who knew?!)...and Derek is just being stupid

2005-08-13T14:47:00.000-04:00

me playing the flute at a concert in PEI!

my road trip!

2005-08-04T11:43:00.000-04:00

HOME!!!..... for 2 days :)
but still! sooooo glad to be home; however, i had a GREAT trip!
here's what happened:
Saturday july 30th, 9am: load onto a bus for our 6+ hour trip from aldershot to Dalhousie, New Brunswick... after the six + hours on the bus playing poker hahaha we finally get to dalhousie and check into our hotel rooms. the place was incrediably scenic! surrounded by mountains...well not mountains, LARGE hills... it's just a spit away from Quebec since we were in northern NB. annnyways :P i played poker with a bunch of ppl..,had a couple drinks... went to be around 1am.
Sunday july 31st, 1PM: standing in the hot sunshine wearing my scarlet uniform (the red ones with the spiked helmets that we wore in Tattoo) and we step off at 1330 to do the hardest parade yet, with the steepest hill.... after the parade there was a reception for everyone in the parade so we went straight there in our uniforms and drank a shit load of liquor for free :) then when they're reception closed down, me and a couple guys when upstairs to the hotel bar and kept drinking... still in our red uniforms. oh good times. i definatly had a liquid supper that night, i finally got changed into a hot lil number and the band went to a HUGE party in an arena and had a great time dancing and drinking the night away
Monday august 1st, 9AM: load the bus once again and head to Charlottetown PEI...another long bus ride. this time instead of poker i definatly slept due to hangover number two. once we get to PEI we checked into UPEI and waited to see if our outdoor concert was going to be canceled..and since it was POURING rain, it was... and a bunch of the band opt to going to Dooleys down the road and played the night away at pool... great times
Tuesday august 2nd, 1PM: 2nd outdoor concert begins with no complications, and it was definatly the BEST our band has ever played! it was a great time and the crowd was huge! so impressed! then after the concert we all came back, ate at a complimentary BBQ for our band hosted by the university, then we headed over to one of the bandmember's house for a huge party and drinking...once again :) once we got back from that, me, pat, and jill went to Dooleys again and played pool until 130am, then came back to the university where i stayed up singing and drinking outside with a couple other ppl until 5:30am!
Wednesday august 3rd, 8AM: get up VERY hungover and have a shower....dry heaved....then packed my stuff onto the bus in prep for our six hour bus ride back to aldershot. since i was completely hungover (and possibly still drunk when i woke up) i was in and out of consiousness for most of the bus ride where i actually fell asleep on my Captain's shoulder. so friggin funny.
Thursday august 4th, 11:42am...: sitting at my computer recounting the past five days and thinking i had the best time of my life.

i guess i need you baby

2005-07-24T07:38:00.000-04:00

*our love is strong....
...why try and carry on without me *

so i go back to aldershot tonight instead of tomorrow morning and im beyond sad right now. i really should be relaxing and trying to get better but im thinking about tonight and going to sleep in the crowded barracks... without the one person who helps me. god i hate Aldershot and all that it is. i wish i had a car so i could drive myself there and back everynight. but as of right now that's no happening and i have to keep reminding myself it's only a couple more weeks then everything will be ok. i'll be safe and sound in my own apartment, cherishing what i have left of the summer.
god i miss my friends too. i miss seeing their faces, hearing the new drama of the week (or day in some cases). i actually miss the Mount. it was the only thing keeping me social i fear. but we're all busy so its not one person's fault. we all have lives, some worse and better then others.
just know that i miss you.

2005-07-19T07:08:00.000-04:00

and the blog wars begin

ohhhh thursday

2005-07-14T09:59:00.000-04:00

-note: owning a 7mth male kitten can sometimes resemble having a child...a bad child at that.... who attacks your face and won't let u sleep at 5:30am.

whew, glad i got that out of my system!
im soooo happy that im home right now, luckily since we [LFAA band] did soooo well in Tattoo, our boss is giving us thursday friday sunday monday and tuesday off (saturday we have a parade in yarmouth...boooo....) so yeah, how friggin nice is that?! the only problem is, it makes leaving and going back to aldershot sooo much harder! fuck! :( oh well! .
i saw war of the worlds last night with brett/rizwan/natasha and hmmm.... i wasn't a fan of the movie. i thought of it as Independance day but with tom cruise instead of will smith, and much better special effects. i'll give spielberg that much, his special effects was 'out of this world' (hehehe sorry, bad joke, im tired) but the plot near the end was lacking and predictable.
now batman begins, fucking amazing! best batman movie yet! go see that if you're into that! fantastic four...it was good too but on the same line as the spiderman movies... reminded me of that, whereas batman didn't seem like a cheesey comic book...maybe that's because batman can't turn his arms into rubber or go invisible *(yet!)* lol.
well that's enough babbling for me. im going to go make banana chocolate chip muffins cos im awesome like that!
love you all!
Xo

2005-07-11T08:32:00.000-04:00

bleh, it's ninethirty am, and im thinking about how i have to get up tomorrow morning at 5:30 and go to work at good ole Aldershot again. the joys of being in the military i tell ya. i feel like staying up here for the tattoo was almost like a vacation...sure, working in the tattoo itself was a bit stressful and alot of work, but at the end of the day i got to go home to brett and my own cozy bed. sure, we [brett and i] rarely got to see eachother in daylight, but when he rolls over in the middle of the night and puts his arm around me, nothing in this world could be better than that. im going to miss that.
i saw Kat last night, and even though we only planned to stay down there for 15minutes (due to laundry getting washed/dryed at home) im pretty sure we stayed for a good hour. that always happens, i can never leave kat's place when planned because we get talking about the past (or future) and we can't stop. plus she knows i babble hard core, but accepts that about me hahaha.
i dunno, i just felt that after seeing Kat, it was the breath of fresh air i needed. i was thinking about how i barely get to see my friends and such because of work, but god, seeing her made it seem ok. thanks kat, no doubt you'll be reading this once u log in, as i read yours.
anyways i should jet, i only have the house alone until 4 and i want to get alot of things done... and i must pack..
f**k
oh well. love you and miss you all (i don't even know who reads this, but this means u too!)
-Leigh Xo

2005-06-30T12:25:00.000-04:00

"blue steel!"....

2005-06-30T12:24:00.000-04:00

akiva and i

2005-06-30T12:23:00.000-04:00

this is what happens when you and your boyfriend's awesome sister gets together...at a wedding reception....drunk :)

the Aftermath

2005-06-30T12:00:00.000-04:00

"we all have our demons, i just hid mine in my closet"

Climbing the Walls

Close your eyes, make a wish

This could last forever

If only you could stay with me now

So, tell me what it is that keeps us from each other now

Yeah, its coming to get me

You're under my skin

No, I can't ever let you go

You're a part of me, now

Caught by the taste of your kiss

And I don't wanna know the reason why I can't stay forever like this

Now, I'm climbing the walls cause I miss you...

Take my hand, take my life

Just don't take forever

And let me feel your pain kept inside

There's gotta be a way you and I together, now

Yeah, it's coming to get me

You're under my skin

No, I can't ever let you go

You're a part of me, now

Caught by the taste of your kiss

And I don't wanna know the reason why I can't stay forever like this

Now, I'm climbing the walls cause I miss you...

It's an illusion how can I feel this way(If I can't have you)

It's an illusion nothing is real this way(If I can't have you)

No, I can't let you go

You're a part of me, now

Caught by the taste of your kiss

And I don't want to know

The reason why I can't stay forever like this

Now, I'm climbing the walls cause I miss you...

...

I can't let you go no

And I don't wanna know the reason why

I can't stay forever like this

Now, I'm climbing the walls cause I miss you

--------------------------------

we have our disagreements, confusion, fustration, and our fights... but i can't let you go... lets not talk about a possible ending, cos i know im so in love with you.

2005-06-27T09:25:00.000-04:00

do you want to know who i am?
don't look at my face,
don't look at my clothes.
i am not all that you see
you have to look deeper now...

past all the scars, past all the pain

past the childhood memories, past memories

underneath it all you might just find me there

sitting, waiting, hoping.

hoping that you will pull up a chair, stay a while
get to know the real me.
and maybe... just maybe you won't leave.

--------------------------------------

well...im still alive, kinda...
my sleeping times are quite sporatic, and the work during the day is long and hard, so im finding that im exhusted all the time. plus brett's cat could easily be considered the devil. i can't get past how bad he is! at night when brett is home he relatively good, cuddling up to me and him, purring, sleeping...but come night time he wakes me up EVERY morning at 5:30am, and once bretts at work in the am he's TERRIBLE (ripping things, stealing my food, climbing on my dresser, etc...) ahhhh what the hell am i going to do? its on the if it was just the am stuff, but i can't sleep anymore because of him and it's not good for my psyche. fuck.
on a lighter note, for those of you that haven't read my msn blog, brett's cousin's wedding was AMAZING and i had a Great time with his relatives and his sister Tiffany *whom drank with me and brett and we had a blast!* everything that has to do with brett is working out soooo well! everyday im more and more proud of him, and i really realized it when he was talking to his uncle at the wedding, and he had such PASSION in his voice, especially when he was talking about trying to get into university and take psychology 'like his gf'. god, i think i fell in love with him all over again....

techno-colour dreams...*

2005-06-23T07:25:00.000-04:00

ahhh waking up and listening to some random Trance songs...so please with myself at the moment
however typing is proving a bit difficult. due to heavyduty usage of my wrist (playing the flute ppl, get your mind out of the gutter!) my wrist is KILLING me. it's fine if i keep it absolutly straight, but any other way isnt' a good time, so today i will buy myself a 'saaaaweeeet' wrist brace...well at least try to find one... i remember looking in the past and finding ones that we just useless...hopefully i'll find a good one before the tattoo shows or else playing will suck
other than that, tattoo rehearsals aren't too bad other then the absolutly ridiculous hours (completely random scheduling) and my unfortunate lack of sleep... i can't start feeling bad for myself tho... brett has been getting up at 4:30am every morning for work at 5:30... (when i say 'he' has been getting up, i mean we... because i cannot sleep through his alarm at all!)

so here's my lyrics for the day
hear of the song from Les Miserables 'on my own'?? welll, here's the adjusted lyrics my friend in LFAA made up (i only know the first line tho..kind of like a teaser...)

--- On my own...
pretending he's inside me...

hahaha
i'll get the rest i promise
well im out for now. gotta get ready for my wikid exciting day at the metro center! weee! love ya!
xo

reach for the alarm clock, hit snooze forever...

2005-06-19T23:01:00.000-04:00

wow
what an exhusting summer so far, and the workload will only get heavier within the next couple weeks.
i want to apologize ahead of time to all of my friends (and hell, all of my enemies too) for my lack of time and some days my lack of cheerfulness (because im sure 'crankiness' will rear its' ugly head as it has thus far).
i am not ignoring ANY of you. i am not giving anyone any special treatment. I (like the rest of you) am just trying to pay for classes and groceries and being away from home and not very social is doing that. if you don't understand, just ask one of your friends whom has a full time job (or maybe two jobs) and ask them how it is. or how about someone who is in the military, because it is not like any other 'summer job'
i will throw this out there tho...
i miss you all.
im asking for patience
im asking for understanding
but most of all...
...im asking for emails! hahaha ... i want to keep in touch with everyone,but unless u guys email me so i know who will actually get my reply if i get time online, then i won't be writing anyone ... except for mummy/daddy....because i am whipped by my rents.
anyways... on that note, i am home from now until july 9th training for the NS International Tattoo.... so my spare time is VERY limited (ask Kat...she'll fill ya in!!)and will probably consist of sleeping/drooling, but like i said...email me...we'll set something up (gladly!)
---> going to the Tattoo?? im the little red piccolo player with the white helmet and spike (1 out of 3...no doubt i'll be in the middle!)...come find me at intermission!

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Muah!

-Simplicity-*

2005-06-12T09:40:00.000-04:00

-life can be as simple as adding or subtracting, or as complicated as algebra.-

at the end of the day, i might ask you who you are or who you want to be.... will you know?
some day i might be confused and lost, will you come and find me???
please find me today... i need you today
i am lost, i can't find my way to you.
you see, i am weak. i admit that finally to you.

- i love you. xo.

oh wonderful Thursday

2005-06-02T08:01:00.000-04:00

so i figured out my summer will look like this:

-Aldershot
-Halifax (for the Nova Scotia International Tattoo that i'll be in!)
-Aldershot
-some more Aldershot
-random parades/mess dinners
-Aldershot
-Gagetown squeezed in there, along with PEIR (p.e.i regiment...)
-more Aldershot

doesn't everyone loooove the military!
so im hoping to see some of mes amigos before i head out. )especially ben and sheena and kathleen and jenny and kristina and kyle.
it's going to suck because when i AM home for two days here and there, i don't know if i'll be able to see anyone (due to exhustion and the need to sleep in my own bed in my own apartment)
but when im back in hali from june 17th- july 9th (Tattoo), most nights will be drinking nights with the band and most if not all of u will HAVE to come out! (kyle, you're the exception since you're going though military things also! good luck with BMQ/ SQ! see you at Gagetown!)
so i better get off of this computey, gotta go for a nice run then disassemble the sofabed some more!
love you all and leave a comment whomever reads this so i know you're out there and weather this is worthwhile to keep updated when im gone.
XoXo
-leigh the poor military musician.

2005-05-28T07:31:00.000-04:00

some times are harder than others, and im not sure why
some times i sit back and think of the past, and my heart aches
some times you come to my mind and i wonder where i went right and where i went horribly wrong
some times i get jealous.
some times i miss you

but only some times.
only some times.

2005-05-26T15:10:00.000-04:00

just three more hours until im done reserves.... until june 4th....
but damn... im sooo excited.
i miss my family and my friends soooo much since ive barely seen any of em due to lack of time. i can't wait to sit back with them and catch up (ben, second cup? :)
im mildly saddened by the thought that i'll be leaving for three months and having basically a friggin lonely summer
but just think...
we'll all have the Mount together! WeeeeEeEEEEee!!1 control your excitement people!
hahaha
okay, okay...
we'll have other times... some more poker nights, some wild DT nights, some calm coffee dates...
this summer will be the summer of our lives!

Women/ Men Shower (fwd: email)

2005-05-21T12:43:00.000-04:00

How To Shower Like a Woman:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks
Walk to bath! room wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband/bf along the way, cover up any exposed areas
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head
If you see husband/bf along the way, cover up any exposed areas

How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile
Walk naked to the bathroom. I
f you see wife/gf along the way shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee
Rinse off and get out of shower
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time
Admire wiener size in mirror again
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on
Return to bedroom with towel around waist
If you pass wife/gf, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again
Throw wet towel on bed
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this there is something so very wrong with you.

raindrop prelude....*

2005-05-14T21:04:00.000-04:00

its a saturday night and instead of having a goodtime out with friends or something, im sitting her in my polar bear pj bottoms and a comfy club monaco sweater listening to Chopin and listening to Brett sleep in the bed beside me.
i feel like im at least thirty years old....i should have a cup of tea in hand and start reminising about 'the good ole days'
but i won't...because sometimes that brings up memories of the 'craptacular days' and i can't be bothered to compete with those thoughts tonight
so instead i'll say goodnight... i will tuck my exhusted boyfriend (whom i think the world of and completely adore like a wife of 50 years probably would) and i will sit and stare out the window... listening to more Chopin....and wonder why...

true friends Are Forever

2005-05-12T10:42:00.000-04:00

- true friends ARE forever

they are the ones you don't have to talk to every minute of everyday... they are the ones who know that when it counts they are on your side.
they are the ones who believe in you when you don't believe in yourself
and they are the ones who know how you feel, when you don't have to say a word.
i have a few of those types of friends. we don't have to hug eachother to know we care, we don't have to call eachother with every detail, yet we know they always listen.
you know who you are...because you really know who i am

just a reminder.... i consider you a true friend.

I Could Not Love You More

2005-05-12T10:38:00.000-04:00

i could not love you more

Now that we're alone
No more hide and seek
You are the highest dream to me
And as you softly sleep
Then i can tell you what it means
Locked in my arms like lovers lie
I will not let you slip away
Is this the summer of them all
Is this my night of nights
That you came to stay
Here you are, owner of my heart
Just the way that love should be
And there is something i must say to you
If you promise to believe
That it's you i'm living for
And, i could not love you more

Seasons may come and seasons go
But these are the truest words i know
Face to face, eye to eye
This is the summer of our lives
One love that cannot die
Here you are, owner of my soul
Never let you say goodbye
And there is something i must say to you
We leave the world outside
And you have come to me at last, we start
Open up your heart
Let my deepest love inside
I'm only doing what i have to do
If you promise to believe
That it's you i'm living for
And, i could not love you (more) -Bee Gees

Update

2005-05-06T12:00:00.000-04:00

April 30th
6:30am, get up, get my ass to the airport for 7:45am...watch Beth's backpack get ExtRemeLy searched, kinda funny actually... :)
9am, try to get on the plane just for them to tell me my boarding pass has been exchanged and i can't get on this flight...marvelous, so as they are chanting the 'final boarding call'...im sweating bullets at customer service, so they had to Hold the flight for me as i ran on at the last second.... grrr. haha.
so the flight was really nice. kinda of like the calm before the storm. toronto airport (and toronto itself) is crazy! so after a 20+ minute wait for our luggage, beth and i finally came out of arrivals to be greeted by Brett and Natasha (Rizwans G/F)! it was such a good sight after a stressful flight. so then we all pilled into Natashas brand new rental car and hit the expressway (which is my new feared word).
1pm, after going to the Eaton's Center (which is Enormous!), Natasha had to met a friend so brett, beth and i were on our own...so we hit the subway, then the Mississaga bus (whoops! spellin!) to go to another big mall called Square One. then we hit once again ANOTHER bus to get the to airport. so in the matter of one day, we spent almost 6 hours on public transit. frig. never again lol.
7pm, at the airport an hour and a half early for Beths shuttle to Borden...wow, i hate the airport now.
8:45pm, Beth hops on the shuttle to Borden and me and Brett stand in the cold (since we both didn't have jackets) trying to figure out how we get to Scarbourough which is about a half hour drive, but a two and a half hour subway/bus ride. and it was getting late. anyways the lady at the desk said we can get back to Scarbourough on a bus that makes no stops, and it comes around nine.so me and brett run outside to the stop to wait....
9:45pm, im shivering so bad i thought my teeth might break off...
we go back inside and the woman is an IDIOT and was like "oh...maybe not, yeah, there is no bus there anymore... ". fuck
10:30pm, bretts friend picks us up (with his NEW bride of a day) and me and brett finally get a hotel room and get to sleep

May 1
10am- Rizwan (who just arrived) and Natasha come and pick me and brett up and after much decisions we go to.... CANADA'S WONDERLAND!
well...i don't think i've EVER screamed on rides so much in my life! of course we all went on crazy rollarcoasters and brett and i went on one called 'Drop Zone' where u sit in a seat and it pulls u up about 30 plus stories then without notice drops u...well omigod. i didn't want to scream. it just poured out of me! incrediable! THEN brett won me the biggest prize ever! it took both of us to carry the thing (i mean Taz).
5:30pm- im back at the airport, waiting for my shuttle and having to say goodbye to brett. wikid.
7pm- get onto the Base...getting lost...having three Techies find me, carry my luggage, and help me to my room.
730pm- meet my roommates, one from T.O. and the other two from Quebec. i can see my french getting better in the future
10pm- we all hit the sack...rise and shine at 6am tomorrow.

May 2
6am- rise and shine, showers, and into my uniform. i eat breakfast and by 7:30am we're all marching in two rows to the Borden School of Music which is about a 1o minute march away. we do this march four times every day

blah
blah
blah.

4pm- finally done for the day. hang out with the gang, watch some family guy and by 11pm im asleep again

May 3
2am- awake with cramps and nausea
2:30am- "
3am- "
3:30am- "
etc.... catching on?
by the time my alarm goes off i had negative sleep and im sick as a dog
and i get sent to the MIR...then i get sent to the base hospital.
...and after much testing and proding at my guts, they've discovered its my crohns acting up severely and i've officially been RTU-ed (...Return To Unit).
12noon- go back to my barracks..and waste the day away.

May 4
am- continue to waste the day away....
noon- still wasting
pm- yup, wasting.

May 5
10am- go to the School of Music on my own... find out i have a flight home tonight at 6:45pm however the only way i can get there would be leaving at 1:30 pm and spending a long 3 hours at the airport waiting for my flight home. did i mention at this point i haven't eaten in three days and every half hour im in the bathroom. i love my life.
6:45pm- i get on that flight...and i come back home.
10pm- arrive at the Halifax International Airport, greeted by two tanned parents who just got home from mexico... and rushed home to the bathroom and the comfort of my room and my life less complicated.

May 6
right here and now- do i miss borden? yes... i feel like a failure even tho i didn't cause any of it to happen. but thats life.
so yeah, im hanging low for a while. not telling anyone really that im home except for this blog.
-back to bed-

2005-05-06T10:10:00.000-04:00

Beth, Brett, and I *with the camera* about to get on the subway...we were on public transit for WAY too long that day!

2005-05-06T10:08:00.000-04:00

flying over T.O. itself... a bit bumpy but not too bad. frigging busy city i tell ya!

2005-05-06T10:07:00.000-04:00

the view from my seat to T.O.... gorgeous!

i guess i miss u baby...

2005-04-27T07:25:00.000-04:00

*rubs eyes*
what day is it?? the 27th?! my god the days are flying by!
update...
nothing interesting has happened in my life thus far.
although last night while i was at work a 220lb + 6 foot something, african american gentleman, came into shoppers drug mart with a couple bags and proceeded to fill them with about $500 worth of perfume before running out the door... so our cosmetician that was working who saw him called the mall security. well the douchbag that was working security was like "uhh... i don't see him...why didn't U stop him??" cos a little woman was going to be able to stop a very large man who didn't care that she saw him Obviously stealing..right. that is putting yourself in the line of danger, and its not worth it, plus its the security guards' JOB! and he said to us and our owner "stop them yourself next time".... oh god i was mad! and i lately ive been hearing alot of 'stalking stories' which has set me on high alert once again since we have a couple that come into shoppers...and trust me they're not your normal 'usuals'. one of them thinks i have beautiful facial features and wants me to come to his place and have my pictures taken by him, and he told me not to bring my mother or boyfriends cos they 'get in the way'. if that isn't a red flag i don't know what is. so yeah
plus a suspicious car was driving around the parking lot for like an hour before i got off work so that was weird too...
anyways i went to my car at 8:30pm after my shift, and as i was approaching my car i noticed a bouquet of flowers on my windshield, so i automatically thought 'awww..brett got me flowers!' so i picked them up and smelt them, then noticed a note on my windshield also! (btw there was an older couple in the car beside my car, and the old woman was like "aww u have a secret admirer!" so i was like "i guess i do!" anyways, i read the note....its not bretts writing at all....like brett couldn't print neat if it killed him, and it was actually handwritten in nice writing on looseleaf
it went like this: This is for you Leigh. I've always been watching you, and I always will keep watching you. i always have fresh Pineapple in my love nest. Casa Nova.
So needless to say, i was freaking out, so i got in the car and i called brett, and he was out with his friend Rizwan in halifax somewhere and denied the placing of the flowers. then he started to sound completely jealous, while im here FREAKING out.
so i hang up the phone, and im pretty near crying, when all of a sudden brett and rizwan pull up beside me laughing...needless to say i got out of the car SCREAMING at them!!!!
...so that's my story of the day
i have an appt at the Mount at 10:30am then working all day at shoppers so i better jet!!!
....3 days til borden!
-Xo

try Honestly (billy talent)

2005-04-23T07:31:00.000-04:00

"im so lonely...im still lonely.... i have got no body to call my own...."
^ im not ACTUALLY lonely, still emotionally taken. but i might be crying that tune in ontario lol.
that's actually my favorite part of the song 'Lonely' by Akon. i love the chipmunk voice! haha. other than Jack Johnson *whom i adored WAY WAY before he was on the radio and muchmoremusic. its all about bushfire fairytales* anyways, yeah...it's 7:23am and im contemplating hopping into the shower now, but whomever knows me knows im a procrastinator...so thats what im going to do.
on another note... this is my apology to my friends out there whom i haven't talked to in a bit (there is more than one of you...and you all know who you are..basically all of my friends)...anyways, sorry for not being around. as u can tell school took the best out of me and the nights where i might actually Not be studying/cramming, i had shoppers or reserves (which has been alot lately since im going away.) this is not an excuse, this is a reason. so please don't be mad... you've all been in my mind, but my phone hasn't rung either, and im just assuming that you are all busy too.
-well its shower time because, surprize surprize...im working today.
ttyl all of u.
Xo

2005-04-20T12:30:00.000-04:00

so its the day before my last exam, and as u can tell... im really cramming! (no , i swear i am.... promise). anyways, the other day i think i got up on the wrong side of the bed because everything that could go sour did. so, i wasn't doing too well...and i was home alone...then i had a knock on my door. well if it wasn't Brett with a dozen orange roses in hand. i was surprized (since he has no transportation!)... but he took his mums car haha. anyways, that cheered me up, and as u can tell he's smelling my roses,and i stole a pic. :). so yah, on other news.... beth introduced me to Ebay, and i tell you.... im a bidding machine which CANNOT be a good thing...unless i win my bids... ok this is terrible, i have to get off ebay AND my laptop and start studying. goodbye for now! Xo

It's FRIDAY!

2005-04-15T10:13:00.000-04:00

wikid. it's the end of another long week and the begining of a fresh weekend. im super psyched because for once i have nothing planned except for work. im thinking i'll plan a date with brett after work on saturday night, but im open otherwise. i think i'll catch up on all of my missed hours of sleep... maybe even clean up my room.... im starting to mistake it as a barn house instead of a bedroom. not good, kat...u would be proud my friend! :)

so it's April 15th...in 15 days i'll be on a jet plane flying to ontario. so exciting. lol. yet so scary at the same time.... im going to have a massive phone bill when i get back... haha maybe thats what im subconciously afraid of :P
anyways brett is out of the shower *finally!* (jk) ...damn im distracted hahaha... im off to my lunch date now boys! talk to you all later! love ya ! xo

"those are SO not MY fruit of the loom"

-Leigh

2005-04-14T12:05:00.000-04:00

this is for my sociology group that i greatly miss. you three are wikid and i hope these are not the last of our pictures together LOL. on that note i am going to go and study for my psychology exam which is only 6 short hours away! love u and miss u all!

cannot wait for Summer~

2005-04-12T10:53:00.000-04:00

can anyone else believe we're almost done yet another year... it feels like just yesterday we were announced to be 'the graduates of 2003'. scary thought that everyday i hear something new about one of our former classmates...some are getting married, some are moving out, some are moving to another town/province/country! its amazing how times like these fly by.
you know what i miss
when time could stand still.
when mudpies were the only thing on our mind
when going to the store and only buying a Jumbo Freezie seemed to cost sooo much, but was so worth it...
when riding your bike that had tassles and those little beads on the spokes of the tires were 'cool' (they're NOT anymore?? damnit i should change those then...)
when playing with your stuffed animals with your friends was the highlight of your day.
when homework didn't take u any more than an hour...tops.
and when at the end of the day we HAD to go to bed at 8:30pm...now i just get no sleep...
i miss so much, but im still incrediably happy at where i am now
we're all growing up u guys! lets not grow apart.

good luck everyone with exams and such. miss you all. Xo

weekend update

2005-04-11T10:52:00.000-04:00

well... i definatly have a case of the 'Mundays'
this weekend has completely drained me of all physical and mental energy...which isn't good when you're trying to study for psychology... yay.
here's the update:
-friday, worked
-saturday, worked 9am-4pm at shoppers, went home...studied psych....went to bretts, got paperwork done. then headed into town for this pubcrawl. well after standing outside of the splitcrow for about an hour alone, finally mandy came outside.... and told me she gave away my shirt. so i was about to say "F**k this" and leave when jason (flindall....from lockview) gave me his shirt since he didn't pay for it...and i definatly prepaid in full for mine. so needless to say, i got a shirt but i was mighty bitter. then we all headed over to Mercury to meet up with the rest of the crowd (there was 20, if not 30 ppl in our pubcrawl) anyways, needless to say, i was THE only girl who didn't cut up my shirt to show stomach and shoulders and chest (...because i didn't have time)...so i looked super plain...
then we all headed over to the pacifico and met up with very drunk ben and very very drunk maureen... did i mention i LOVE them?! they were my highlight of the night! they left 20 minutes later due to excessive drunkiness but they were still fabulous!
...so pacifico wasn't bad...ran into bretts ex GF of three years whom doesn't like me... i played it cool tho since i was sober, but if i was drunk...bad things would have happened!
finally around 1 everyone decided to go to the dome, so i walked up with nick, angus, and kyle... but decided i rather go home and end this 'okay' night. so i said bye, walked down towards the waterfront for my car, drove to bretts house, woke him up (lol), crawled into his bed without saying a word and fell asleep.
-sunday, drove brett to work REALLY early, went home, studied some more...went to reserves at 9PM, left at 12:30AM.... dropped brett off, came home
-monday, woke up at 8am, worked out, and here i am.... tired, sweaty, and semi cranky... about to have a shower then a nice nap i think....
so there was my ENORMOUS update... i'll post something a lil less boring soon.
- <3 Leigh

2005-04-10T11:34:00.000-04:00

just a quick picture of the B/F Brett in his uniform... did i mention i love a man in uniform?! :)

2005-04-09T08:16:00.000-04:00

Time: 8:10am, Date: April 9th,2005.
Subject: Vinnies/Weekend

-well... Vinnies wasn't TOO bad minus the fact i drank WAY WAY WAY too much (it's Vinnies.. i had to) anyways and Brett didn't like it there at all which made me sympathize with the guy especially since he knows no one really. -the only really good part was the dancing, the only really bad part was the tequilla shooters.

-anyways i got four hours sleep thursday night after the pub, then went home and got ready for work, then came home after 11pm and went to bed. needless to say i was So tired at that point i thought "the floor looks really comfortable right now... i wouldn't be tooooo sore in the morning.. doooo it....doooo it.... lol" anyways i crawled into bed thankfully! but then at 7:45am my alarm clock went off and here i am. very tired, and VERY not looking forward to work today. oh well. this weekend is going to suck, except for Mandy's birthday pub crawl tonight in which im participating in, except no one knows...im DDing it lol. after the other night, me and drinking i want to keep on the downlow for a bit. then tomorrow (sunday) is study day 'yipee!', then i have to go into the Armouries for 9PM to play some marches and leave, the only good part is that Brett is actually cooking at this mess dinner so i'll get to see him since i won't be seeing him til tuesday :(
well... im out like a herd of turtles. gotta get ready for my AWESOME job...ha ha ha...
ttyl ppl! and don't pee against the wind.

Time: 8:16am
- Leigh XoXo

You & I <3

2005-04-05T00:36:00.000-04:00

Here we are

On earth together

It's you and I

God has made us fall in love

It's true

I've really found

Someone like you

Will it stay

The love you feel for me

Will you say

That you will be by my side

To see me through

Until my life is through

Well in my mind

We can conquer the world

In love you and I

You and I, you and I...

I'm glad

At least in my life

I've found someone

That may not be here forever

To see me through

But I found strength in you

Cause in my mind

You will stay here always

In love you and I

You and I, you and I

You and I

In my mind

We can conquer the world

In love you and I

You and I, you and I

You and I...

To my Playground Love---*

2005-04-04T16:41:00.000-04:00

I Still Do - Paul Brandt

------

It's in the way you move me

The way you look right through me

Still brings me down to my knees

Every time you smile

And after all this time love

It's still hard to get enough

From the very first time I thought you were the one

Who'd make all of my dreams come true

I still do

I'm still amazed every time that we kiss

I still do

I'm never gonna stop feeling like this

Like the first time that I fell for you

I still do

They all might say we're crazy

Sometimes I think we may be

When I think about the way we Live like life's a dare

I'd lay my life down for you

I'd do anything to prove it's true

I'd lay my life down for you

I'd do anything to prove it's true

*______*

Run To Me - Paul Brandt

------

When you're all alone in the dark

And it's hard not to be afraid

When your candle's losing it's spark

And it seems that you can't find your way

Look straight ahead, don't cry and don't look back

Leave your regrets behind you in the past

Run to me

I will always be

The hand you can hold when you're lonely and cold

I will warm you

I adore you

You're always in my heart

No matter where you are

When it's love you need (Come to me)

Baby you can run to me

Nothing you ever say

And nothing you could ever do

Is gonna change the way

That I'll always be loving you

I'll be your sky, I'll be a soft place to fall

Baby this love is unconditional

When it's midnight on a winding road

And you don't know where you are or where to go

Through the rain, call my name, And I will run to you

just thinking....*

2005-04-03T07:46:00.000-04:00

in less than a month i'll be up in Borden, Ont. starting my month course for the military... then i'll be home in June to train for the Nova Scotia International Tattoo, then July and August i'll be down in Kentville at Camp Aldershot...
so basically, im going to be gone for the whole summer, except for those few weekends i get to escape from base to come home.
when i first found out about a month ago, i was mildly excited...the fact that i'll get to spend time with my 'bandies' and beth for the summer makes me REALLY happy, AND i'll be making at least 11, 000$...yeah,thats a good feeling....
but now i've got someone else to think about. someone i really care about, and i'm going to miss SOO much when i leave.
-i will buy a phone card when i leave...i'll permanant marker your name on it....-
*sigh*
this is what i get for meeting someone so amazing that u can't imagine leaving even for a moment.
...before i start sobbing, im going to go to bed since it's 8:45am (really 7:45am to me) and i got no sleep since i drove brett to Coras this morning...
surprizingly, i'll miss that too.
ahhh...going to bed.

-ps... i'll miss all of u too...so much.... (kat, kristina, jenny, BEN....all of you...i'll keep in touch! :)
-pps... kat, i will get those tickets for us... i don't care. i'll fight for them, just for us

Avril Lavigne August 31st! :)

2005-03-30T10:51:00.000-05:00

This one is for Kat, since we're going to get tickets to see her this weekend!!! WEEEE! :)
ahhh... wonderful! :) longer blog later! until then, enjoy!

Things I'll Never Say - Avril Lavigne

I'm tugging at my hair

I'm pulling at my clothes

I'm trying to keep my cool

I know it shows

I'm staring at my feet

My cheeks are turning red

I'm searching for the words inside my head

'Coz I'm feeling nervous

Trying to be so perfect

'Coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah

[Chorus]

If I could say what I want to say

I'd say I want to blow you away

Be with you every night

Am I squeezing you too tight?

If I could say what I want to see

I want to see you go down on one knee...Marry me today!

Guess I'm wishing my life away...

With these things I'll never say

[Verse 2]

It don't do me any good

It's just a waste of time

What use is it to you, what's on my mind?

If it ain't comin' out

We're not goin' anywhere

So why can't I just tell you that I care?

'Coz I'm feeling nervous

Trying to be so perfect

'Coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah

[Chorus]

If I could say what I want to say

I'd say I want to blow you away

Be with you every night

Am I squeezing you too tight?

If I could say what I want to see

I want to see you go down on one knee

Marry me today!

Guess I'm wishing my life away...With these things I'll never say

[Bridge]

What's wrong?

With my song?

These words keep slippin' away...I stutter...I stumble

Like I've got nothin' to sa-ay...

'Coz I'm feelin' nervous

Tryin' to be so perfect

'Coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah

Da da da da da da da da da...Da da da da da da da da da...

Guess I'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say

If I could say what I want to say

I'd say I want to blow you away

Be with you every night

Am I squeezing you too tight?

If I could say what I want to see

I want to see you go down on one knee

Marry me today

Guess I'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say

With these things I'll never sa-ay

2005-03-27T11:07:00.000-05:00

" there is nothing wrong with breakups, makeups, first dates, or long lost loves. there is nothing wrong with get togethers, let downs, one nighters, or walk aways... there is only things wrong when trust is broken. if the rules are bent a bit too much. the moment u say something that isn't the real thing, something that is laced with doubt... then everything else is just as false. the relationship, the love, the lust, even in the end, it all seems make believe.
through it all....someday u will fly above the confusion and the anger... u will open your eyes to the blue skies and find YOUR sun...your sunshine through the rain...and everyone will be happy again....
in the end.... the doubt will disappear. and hopefully u can find something as pure again as new beginnings."

HAPPY EASTER

Day 2 and a bit

2005-03-24T01:54:00.000-05:00

what my title is referencing is my second day (and a bit) of battling this evil Stomach flu that is going around. i have just woken up to it's latest victim (my daddy-o) 'throwing his guts up', we like to say...just because that's what it sounds like. i lie, when my dad throws up it sounds like a mooses' mating call. it is loud, it is monotone, and HIGHLY verbal, causing poor leigh in dreamland on the upstairs couch to basically JumP out of her blankets.... once realizing what the sound was, i, leigh f. fellows, began to laugh...merely at the sound that was coming out of my dad's mouth. well... here comes the karma bit... in all of a milisecond my giggles ceased and i was head deep in MY bucket... enjoying the sounds coming out of my own mouth.
has anyone ever noticed, but it's almost impossible to not 'cry' when u vomit. i could be laughing my fool head off, and tears will still come streaming down my face (im usually only laughing/purging during a drinkingfest.... not when im feeling the way i do right now)
anyways, everyone...watch your stomaches..drink loads of orange juice, take all of your vitamins...and stay away from me, i'll stay away from you.
-signing out for now... pray for me... i might need it.
ps....gingerale and gravol are my new best friends at the moment. now if we could cure crohns i'd be f**king set!
pps. kat - BRETT BRETT BRETT BRETT BRETT ;) < just for u babe... i felt i was lacking.

Take A Wild Guess*

2005-03-21T22:43:00.000-05:00

hey there Kat
Kat. Kat.. Kat.
k a t h l e e n e l i z a b e t h p a t t e r s o n

kat

kat kat

kat kat kat

kat kat

kat

just for you, kat.

wonder how i ever made it...*

2005-03-21T16:23:00.000-05:00

-btw, the title is from the song 'two beds and a coffee machine' by Savage Garden
annnnyways, hi there spring! it's about time we've had some good weather! it was actually 5 degrees ABOVE 0 today! shocking yet lovely!
so this weekend has been the best yet. i went out with brett on friday to a candle party (where i bought stuff...obviously candles and candle holders) for my new place next year. i need some decoration! lol. anyways, that was fun, and me and brett and maiko and HER brett *we called them B1 and B2 all night haha* went to Tim Hortons after, where i almost passed out on the table. then i stayed at bretts til 7 in the morning!!!! lol, then went home and showered since it was Saturday and i had to work for 2. then after work i went Back to Bretts house where i got ready for a house party/downtown. once at the house party i met some AMAZING ppl (Lisa and Kathryn for example!!!) we had a great time doing shooters and making outselves ridculously drunk "IT'S BECAUSE OF THE BLACK HAIR!!" hahaha...inside joke. so yeah, then we all headed to Reflections where i danced the night away with my favorite boys, mainly Ben...and Brett i guess! haha. then brian drove me and brett back to his place around 4am.
after sleeping until 12noon on sunday, we finally got up and got ready for our 'lazy day'...which consisted of Swiss Chalet Take out...mmm.... and watching Sweet November. then i stayed there, fell asleep by accident, and drove home at 4am. it was actually painful driving away from him, laying there in his bed fast asleep... i left him a note saying sorry i had to leave in the middle of the night, but i had to be home much earlier haha. he forgave me of course with a cute email before heading to work. what a great kid. wait, rephrase, great kid... he's four years older than me so i Should stop calling him 'kid'. lol.
anyways enough psycho-babble, u guys are all caught up on my semi-interesting life.
off to reserves i go to play my PROFFESIONAL WOOD PICCOLO!! :)
jeeealous?! :)
-leigh XoXo

Everything - Lifehouse

Find me here

Speak to me

I want to feel you

I need to hear you

You are the light

That is leading me to the place where i find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking

You are the hope that keeps me trusting

You are the life to my soul

You are my purpose

You are Everything

And how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than thi?

you calm the storms

You give me rest

You hold me in your hands

You won't let me fall

You steal my heart, and you take my breath away

Would you take me in

Would u take me deeper now

And how can i stand here with you, and not be moved by you?

Would u tell me, how could it be any better than this?

And how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you?

Would u tell me, how could it be, any better than this??

'cause you're all that i want

All that i need

You're everything, everything

You're all that i want

You're all that i need

You're everything, everything...

Would u tell me...how could it be...any better than this...?

'When U Say Nothing At All'

2005-03-16T10:58:00.000-05:00

how dangerous really is an open heart?
-yeah, i, leigh francis fellows, watched most of season six of Sex and the City this morning...starting it all at 7am this morning. and ending close to 12 noon lol.
instead of being incrediably bitter after this sex and the city marathon, i was mildly refreshed. today is a glorious day ...and i'm not sure why. actually, i lie. i think i know why, but in the pit of my stomach im so afraid this happiness is only temporary and will soon fade away like the rest of my past.
-i have to let go of these insecurities.
i have to say 'thank u' when given a compliment instead of brushing it off, or laughing, or looking down.
i have to start loving myself
and most of all
i have to just let go.
i just have to give in.
...maybe love again, and be loved in return.

*gasp*... i might just be irreplaceable... i might just be valuable to someone... i might just be special in their eyes.
the world might start to spin again.

-don't look at your feet during the journey of life...u might run into a pole.

.not a smart idea.

2005-03-11T22:24:00.000-05:00

well tonight was an incrediable night at SDM 125
i was shutting down the photolab tonight, and i was half done shutting down both machines when a lady came to pick up a picture she ordered on one of the digital picture machine...
the odd thing was she had both the Store copy reciept AND the customer copy, anyways i didn't have the picture printed off since i wasn't even made AWARE that she ordered a picture (i obviously didn't put in the print password as u could tell). so she demanded when it would be ready...so i told her i'd RESTART the machine and i could have it done in about ten minutes (which is me really really rushing it).
anyways her and her elderly mother proceeded to raise their voice at me saying 'don't bother', so i said i'll come into work early tomorrow am and have it printed for them by 10. then she said 'don't bother, i won't be coming in for it ATALL', then walks over to cash one where she mumbles under her breath (while glaring at me) 'dipstick'!!!! she f-ing called me a dipstick!!!!! i did nothing wrong! i wasn't even told she had placed an order! i wasn't made aware of anything, so she decides to not only give me an unnecessary hard time,but then throws in some cutting name calling!!!... needless to say after some lawyer-like advice from kyle, ive decided to do up a report to the owner of my store, explaining the situation and asking if anything can be done... plus, i do have her last name and phone number. .
don't mess with a photolab tech with a temper problem. especially when this tech bends over backwards for everyone and doesn't like being yelled at.

2005-03-09T09:07:00.000-05:00

today is a day of realization
i sat back and i realized who are my friends, and who really are not my friends at all
i don't need that in my life
i had that...and it sent me into my downhill spiral faster then ever
if someone does something wrong, u should tell them instead of 'punishing them' by not talking to them.
seriously, if i did something wrong to one of my friends, i'd hope to God they would call me on it, whether i did it intentionally or not!
people make mistakes, its human nature! so why are people coming down so hard on others when sometimes it's not their fault OR they're actually looking out for someone's best interest!!
all im guilty of right now is trying to be someones friend... whom i really don't think likes me at all.
on that note, im going to go and have a social life...why sit around and dwell on something so not meant to be, like friendship.

-i have nice shoes, borrow them sometime and take a walk in them. let me know how it goes.-
-after all is said and done, i almost feel lied to all the while.

-Leigh

What's All This About?*

2005-03-01T07:14:00.000-05:00

you cannot take on everyone's problems, this i learnt the hard way.
the person you should take care of first is yourself. at the end of the day, you're it; however, friends...they are your saviours at times. without friends, sure you'd have no arguments but you'd have no one to share the good times with or to cry to when the unthinkable things happen. i rather have 5 'really close friends' then 25 that 'kinda know me'.
cherish the past because those things u can hold on to forever, but Always look toward the light of the future. seriously....i love all of u guys equally, and sure, it sucks that none of us have spent much time with eachother because of classes, the library, work, etc... but u can always count on me when u need me. i'm not off in some foreign country or another planet (but even if i was, i'd come back if u asked me too).
and most of all...don't let a fight, something that is reversible, push u away from the people that u care about and that u both need the most. misunderstandings happen EVERY day, mistakes and 'what ifs' do too. just don't lose the people who know u best, because who knows...someday it might be too late to say im sorry and to say i love you.
don't let it happen to us
i love all of u. every person, in every different 'group' of friends. all.

this one's for U

2005-02-22T07:11:00.000-05:00

now remember, while reading, do the actions!:

-the itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout
-down came the rain and washed the spider out
-out came the sun and dried up all the rain
-so the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again

:) hope it made u giggle! haha, it did? mission successful! we all need some laughs here and there, and that nursey rhyme was typed up for u :P

bffaa !

Lost ---*

2005-02-21T09:56:00.000-05:00

im not sure why this bothers me
i'm not sure why you say u want to hang out with me, and i create open opportunities for you to, and you don't. i don't know why i try so hard for your attention when there's no attention to get...at least not for me. this is obvious. i'm not like those other girls and guys, i never will be. i'm not fake and i won't stab your back. i don't hang out with u 'only when its convient to me', if u wanted to see me i try my hardest to make that possible...but u never give me that chance to show you since u never ask.
i don't know why i'm upset today. maybe it's because i'm tired. maybe it's because i had another nightmare with u in it. maybe it's because you say the things i want to hear when i'm upset but say hurtful things when i'm not causing me to be upset. why don't u want to see me? why do u say that you do but don't make an effort to, but u do with everyone else? don't tell me u do if you don't.
i can't turn back time
ive lost so much at this point, what's left to lose? i think i already lost you... so? what's left to lose? i have no pride left. no dignity. nothing.
i'm broken working on finding my pieces.
and i don't think i can recover right now from any more punches
i will ALWAYS support you. i will ALWAYS be here for you.
u already know that i miss your friendship, the friendship i cherished
but i can't beg for you to be my friend

Roll with the Punches

2005-02-20T15:16:00.000-05:00

everyday life will throw you punches...hard, 'knock-your-breath out of your lungs' type of punches
-so how will u react?
will u duck, letting the punch wizz by your head while allowing you to take a breath and get a better look at the situation from this new angle. Or will you let it hit you, causing you to actually fall back a couple paces and in the end leaving you in more pain then u started with and an unfading bruise.
i'd personally choose ducking, when i have the chance (sometimes you don't have that merciful chance)
one way or another....
....actions do speak louder than words, and yes sometimes they are YeLLinG at you....but when the dust clears your true friends will still be standing there.
love u. all of u. always.

Change is Inevitable

2005-02-15T14:30:00.000-05:00

Yup, so i'm sitting in the MSVU library, completely bored out of my mind...and when that happens i promise, trouble is usually insuit. (i.e. writing emails that maybe never should have been sent....?)
i'm not sure why i keep doing all of this to myself. i take one step forward just to take two steps back.
i'm sick with all these feelings in me. i'm completely overwhelmed with life. does that make sense?
it's like i can't make any decisions, i can't help how i feel and that fustrates me because i don't want to feel the way i do. i want to choose whom i like or don't like, who i want to date or who i don't. but no. the second i start to think i'm moving on and everything might actually start looking up, POOF. insomnia sets in and i spend countless hours awake thinking about the past and how it's effecting my bleak future.
...does anyone want to go back and change time? just change one crucial aspect of your past that would create a positive outcome instead of the negative outcome i'm facing instead...?
but change IS inevitable.
how come i can't change the way i want to?
guess i'm going to have to do something about it.

oh blog...how you don't make me feel like u used to do..... instead that kinda sounded like a bad philosopher kings song lol.
i just need more sleep, a new mind, and a renovated heart.

deal.

i should study now tho since i'm going out to Dooleys tonight.
keep your stick on the ice.
-leigh

Surviving Valentines Day

2005-02-15T07:38:00.000-05:00

so i survived Valentines Day quite nicely i think
but it leaves me thinking, why do ppl need an appointed day to express their love for someone?
why not tell them and show them every chance u get? that's my advice for the day
tell someone that u care for them, even if they already know. just remind them today, who knows...maybe it'll be the one thing they needed.
(to all my friends, thank u for helping me through the hard times. to all my enemies, thanks for forcing me to get stronger and quicker at the punch)

i LOVE this song:

how do i begin to stop loving you
how do i go on by letting go
how do i pretend i know what to do, deep inside i know that i don't,
-my heart is weak, to tired to sleep, i'm incomplete, like a day without sunshine
god only know this faded soul will stand alone, waiting on sunshine-
how do i forget to remember you
tell me how to mend a broken heart
how can i explain what i'm going through
it's like trying to find a shadow in the dark
-my heart is weak, to tired to sleep, i'm incomplete, like a day without sunshine
god only know this faded soul will stand alone, waiting on sunshine-
--oh my heart is weak, i just can't sleep, i'm in too deep....waiting on sunshine
and God only knows of this faded soul will stand alone...waiting on waiting on sunshine...
sunshine.....

-Sunshine - Hip Joint

2005-02-11T20:56:00.000-05:00

love brings out logic
it's like a bright light, and with a bright light comes a big shadow
you never 'belong' to someone, and u never 'own' a person...
you choose them...they choose you...thats life, thats love
through good times, and the incrediably hard times...it's love testing us...and in the end there is always an answer, even if u didn't know u asked a question

Lost in the Abyss

2005-02-10T07:38:00.000-05:00

it's 7:30am...and i'm awake a half hour before my already 'much too early' alarm
i have a problem now...i just can't friggin sleep...at all.
i have issues falling asleep and issues staying asleep
my mind thinks too much i figure... i'll have to find out how to shut my mind off before sleep time
i know a guy who i think does that to me once in a while, i'll ask him
i know i'm not the only person out there that's an insomniac, but seriously, how do they function day-to-day? i know I can't go on like this, i'm flaring up alll the time now, heartburn seems to be my new best friend, and i'm just SO tired i'm dopey! haha which can be funny at times!

you know what i just realized...i haven't slept well since he left me.
thats messed up... now what do i do? i already have a body pillow so it's not the physical aspect of being alone..what will it take for my mind to rest at ease again?
helllllo psychologist, please, read my mind...or make me a new one! i really don't 'mind'...haha...SEE that was a terrible joke but in my simple and exhusted head i thought it was funny and giggled outloud!!!!... i need serious help! lol
oh dear... i'm going....

"Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned" - Siddhartha Guatama

My Enigmatic Existance

New Home!!

Comon now people!

Don't trust me with your children

HELLO Mr Ramsay!!

"Quotations"

Love it!

another day in the life

We Don't Always Talk About Heart Rhythms!

Blissful Dreams

Peanut Stir Fry

"we will do what is hard, we will do what is great."

...I'm Barely Breathing...

Saddened on a Tuesday Nite

"Sweet Niblets", Montana's Misery!

how to save a life...

Kiss You 'Til You Weep

Ever the same

hellllo christmas eve!

Christmas time, Kinda...

how to say i love you in 100 languages

You're Beautiful, it's True

Post Halloween

sleep deprivation, underwear, and weddings :)

*let the midterms begin*

turkey weekend!

"hi..long time no see"

**NOTE**

hmmm?

RANT ALERT

My MSN Blog

randomness!

my road trip!

i guess i need you baby

ohhhh thursday

the Aftermath

techno-colour dreams...*

*reach for the alarm clock, hit snooze forever...*

-Simplicity-*

oh wonderful Thursday

Women/ Men Shower (fwd: email)

raindrop prelude....*

true friends Are Forever

I Could Not Love You More

Update

*i guess i miss u baby...*

*try Honestly* (billy talent)

It's FRIDAY!

cannot wait for Summer~

weekend update

You & I <3

To my Playground Love---*

just thinking....*

Avril Lavigne August 31st! :)

Top Ten Naked Videos*

Day 2 and a bit

Take A Wild Guess*

wonder how i ever made it...*

'When U Say Nothing At All'

.not a smart idea.

What's All This About?*

this one's for U

Lost ---*

Roll with the Punches

Change is Inevitable

Surviving Valentines Day

Lost in the Abyss

let the midterms begin

NOTE

reach for the alarm clock, hit snooze forever...

i guess i miss u baby...

try Honestly (billy talent)